she passed the night before I was about to leave for my trip. or so we thought.i was ready to let her go. i did not cry much. and i didn't want to cry. because putting her to sleep was the only way to keep her from suffering. or so we thought.
and then i got the news from mom that dr yap couldn't do it. and discharged her. i was in kinabalu park when i got the news. two days later.
i was in rage. i was mad. i felt cheated.
i kept myself happy although i was not. call me fake, i don't mind.
filled myself with happy thoughts and excitement.
tried so hard to not breakdown and ruin the trip.
kept myself busy with new friends i found so i won't have time to be sad.
lied to myself that i was okay.
in the end i found out i didn't have to force myself to do all those.
isn't that all absurd?
thank you dearests for your kind words. and sorry i didn't came out with the truth sooner.
i just didn't know what to say.
and i didn't know if that's a good news.
she's so frail and weak. i don't want her to be this way any longer.
call me cruel. but to me, it is more cruel to let her be in this state.
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