the story of my first crush

I was fifteen when I first heard his captivating voice on TV. I had no freaking idea what song that was and who he was, so I watched attentively when the closing credits appear to find out who the singer of that beautiful song. And the rest is history.... yeah, he was my first crush. and still is.

If you have read my 10 resolutions before I turn 30, you must know catching him live once again is one of my resolution. AND THAT I AM.
I literally want to scream at the top of my lungs saying "I AM GOING TO SEE HIM, AGAINNNNNNNN!"
Well, I am going to contain my happiness for now and be a little bit more civilized (I can't promise I would be able to on Tuesday night though! heh).

So, here's him! - the amazing Canadian Crooner. I love Canada, now! LOL

Minutes to go...

Hello peeps! Yes, I am still alive.
Minutes before the year ends, allow me to pen my last thoughts for the year.
Well, I was thinking (I literally have this post drafted in my mind while I was in the hospital - will be explained later as to how I ended up in hospital) of writing a review of my 2014 but I digress.
Nevertheless after a heartbreak, a lost camera, laptop died on me, 7 gastric attacks, contracted  typhoid paratyphi which got me hospitalised on Christmas eve (and quarantined).. and whatnot... 2014 just didn't love me. Having said that, I am very optimistic that 2015 will be a good year, or at least better than 2014.
Of the many obstacles faced this year I hope it just made me stronger than ever in embracing the new year.
So here's me wishing you a better 2015. Thanks for reading and dropping by.
Happy new year!

With love, hope and dream of second chances...

"Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long..."

"You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of  such beautiful specific details"

Celine, Before Sunset

Of every moment a part of the past....7 things

... every car plate number ending with "the" double digit I see on the road just seem to make me forget how to breathe normally.
... dare not let myself to hear songs that used to (still) mean so much to me
... places I used to dream of going, but how to go when things are different now
... I still love making pasta
... gastric is back, and it is hurting my spine, my stomach, my head
... turned on the TV super loud to kill the silence that surrounds me
... feels like I am singing my life when I sing those songs

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities" - The Fault In Our Stars

Another beautiful voice (excellent falsetto, must say)

I need someone, That I'll look to,
In the lonely hour, That we all go through,
To give me comfort, And love me through,
In the lonely hour, I need you . . . . I need you,

I don't need diamonds, I don't need jewels,
No amount of riches, Will cover up these blues,
I don't need suggestions, About a-starting new,
In the lonely hour, I need you,

There's nothing i can do, I'm helpless without you,
It's a losing, Point of view,
When there's a wistful silence, In an empty room,
These other voice's, They don't cut through,
In the lonely hour, I need you . . I need you . . . And i need you,

                                                                        - the lonely hour, sam smith



P.S. Working on a Sunday?
Well if you are then high fives!
Nothing to sulk about actually if we could end up with better increment, or perhaps promotion?! *grins*
Long story short, it has been getting real crazy at work lately.

The spirit within

I stumbled upon E.L's Huff Post piece about turning 25. I am reading a lot lately. Perhaps I thought it could keep my mind off things. I thought I am okay, until, I knew I wasn't. I am not.
How could I found that one piece of writing, that bloody honest-to-god memoir from some random writer/blogger/teacher!?
Of all the blogs, journals, articles, books (and whatnot) I have read or tried reading these past two weeks could not sum up to the words I have been longing to read, to feel, to hold on to, to wake myself up..
How can two souls, continents apart experience the same thing?
How can, how did she found that courage to write so honestly that it made me hate myself for not having that courage to be honest to myself for being not okay.
How did I found someone who felt the way I did, the way I do now.
How did I found someone who cried so little and so much inside as much as I did?
Was it the spirit within?
Was it the universe's way of guiding me by introducing me to a teacher?
I did not sleep the whole night and drove to work at 6. Thinking the whole night.
She wrote back to me. A total stranger who completely felt my pain, who was so willing to write to me again.
I cried reading her reply. I cried because I had to wake up.

26 days till 2013

Reflection Time!

 

Sort of like a timeline. What I did etc etc.

 

So,

 

This is my life in 2012!

 

January (Didn't end 2011 nor begin 2012 with a boom)

• I declared 2011 as one the worst year in my life. Horrible workload. Terrible hours in the lab. Was hospitalized. and what not!
• Embraced the New Year with a "Convex" mug in my hand! Walking around campus ground with fellow classmates till midnight after having a super filling "room"-made  steamboat dinner organised by them ::teehee::

February~love is in the air~

 

spent Valentine's with a boy.

striked out the resolution I made with Beanie.

dated Mr CP

 

 

HAHA

 

 

move on... to

 

March!

 

April

meet the parents

lots of interrogation (I was home for a week, only heh)

 

May

• wrapped up my final year project. finished thesis Hurrah!
• studied for my final Final Examination

JUNE

 

final Final Exam took place

Prepared for thesis presentation

 

farewell party BBP style

missed you guys!

 

 

 

July(busy July)

 

Nailed presentation

So Long, Farewell USM

 

Here comes post- grad trip no. ONE!

 

TWO

 

 

(this was in August)

 

 

AUGUST

 

started working.

 

happy Eid at Hani's Teratak Murni =)

 

September

.

.

.

November

.

.

trip to Bukit Cahaya. caught in the rain. funniest moment. LOVED IT!

 

December,

 

will you surprise me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the actual goodbye of all goodbyes

the day she came into our lives

we were in Singapore the week Dad brought her home. I remember feeling so excited during the train ride home! we were all super excited! our neighbour, Ong(he loves dog- too bad his wife hated

em!), and Uncle Bert purposely (dad's childhood friend) came to visit haha!

 

we had several canaries, a few hamsters, a squirrel haha! but nothing beats her!

 

the best memory

my sisters and I carpooled, from home to school then to nanny's place, since kindergarten. So, we gotta wake up early and catch those rides before dawn. And Lady would always be awake to accompany us til our carpool Aunty arrive to pick us.

When I used to go school alone in the morning, I always talk to her cos she's like my buddy and sister.

 

sadly

because we were all still young, schooling and all. spending most of our time in nanny's place. Mom and Dad had to work. She spent her childhood alone at home. hmmm....

 

on the bright side

she had a boyfriend! haha Mr Brownie. and 10 kids! (too bad, 8 died. 2 survived) oh wait, and a niece(Blossom) and nephew(Mike)! haha!

 

and she lived till 16! Bravo, mama! I love calling her marmalade. heh. cos she looks a bit orangy =P

 

 

p.s. Goodbye my loyal sister/buddy. We love, love you so very much. Thank you for making my childhood a memorable one.

 

 

 



he is one hell of a lucky guy to be married to her

post-grad trip 1: singapore

yes, i’m a jobless fresh grad.

still goyang-ing legs at home

with nothing else better to do let me bore you with details of my (not-so) recent trip to Singapore

DON’T YOU WORRY I WILL NOT DO THAT HAHA

let the pictures do the talking okay?

Harry Potter Exhibition, ArtScience Museum

would love to bring home a Olympus 2000 which cost a fortune so no thank you

but he got me Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans (which I have yet to try it out)

p.s. please remind me to open it when you are back next month okay? :p

not to be missed Universal Studios Singapore



and his fav Madagascar rides and characters :p

someone actually sang to ME!

NO

to this hot chick .... hmmm

:p

didn't get to catch 2 awesome rides tho
hmmm...
::hint:: I am, I am complaining :P HHAHAHHAHAH

oh well,

enough pictures for today

the rest is history...

<3

beautiful acoustics

light mahogany

steel strings

rough, blistered fingers

deep voice yet soulful

the emotions

pure

simplistic

minimal expression

that's what captures one's heart

but ears first, that's for sure

awesome is a four letter word in this context

JASON MRAZ PLEASE COME TO M’SIA TO PROMOTE YOUR LOVE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD ALBUM! PLEASEE??? I WILL FORK OUT EVERY PENNY I HAVE TO ATTEND! I PROMISE! i meant every penny cos i’m going broke soon XP haha

i went for a kill. no?

Killed FOUR birds with ONE stone?!

HAHA

was home last weekend for RUSSELL PETERS

and

MOTHERS’ DAY celebration

and

my parents’ anniversary celebration

and

my.

Must say,

Russell Peters was awesome! *standing ovation* *clapsclaps*

our tickets! the moment we got the tickets in hand *hallelujah*! HAHAHA

look at the massive crowd!


after show shots!

family dinner was great. had a good time catching up with my family heeee
had a great time disturbing Mom! HAHA! she’s been ignoring me for the past couple of weeks. She has been very busy with her activities. so she said. LOL.

was super exhausted the next day. and with no interesting movies to watch.

of yoyo ice and stalking houses in Taman I-don’t-remember we ended up in Tanjung Harapan!

peace. quiet. calm. serene. for two!

this is what we need. HAHA.
*credits to google* HAHA


and how can I forget the FIRST theatre (i watched) of the semester! HAHA

Tans darling’s production!

Tans and Amy (her actress= awesome) and we got her flowers too!

among other things

I WAS THERE!

JUSTIN LIM from the FIX! gasp! still with his dreadlocks after 5 years… can you believe it!?
*credits to intan*
lepak-ing at Penang Botanical Gardens before the show. Awesome day to just lie on the ground and stone. haha.
*credits to intan*
*credits to intan*
RM 90 (but I paid RM45 only HAHA) for 6hours+ of spectacular show! and yummy looking dreadlocksguy! how can I possibly miss it right! HAHA

late birthday celebration for ahjumma CHK! at NazaTalya

was supposed to be a waffles and pancakes buffet. got cheated. they only serve pancakes and they were made pretty badly. I trust the batter i usually make is much much fluffier and milkier..

but still whack like crazy! hahah…
best thing to go with pancakes… ICE-CREAM!

moi and birthday boy

the motley crew
best day out in years!  months! HAHA!
.
.
something present?
err… probably I wasn’t clear? (I hope not) but err yea! it is official guys/gals… HAHA…
I hate facebook so there won’t be any relationship updates there HAHA.. only here. exclusively for you darlings. yaya I am kohlau (still pretty unsure what it means. go figure!) HAHA
.
.
.
.
.
and among other things

you guys will be missed. RIP.

the fires here to stay

I love this place

But it’s haunted without you

My tired heart

Is beating so slow

Our hearts sing less than we wanted, we wanted

Our hearts sing cause we do not know, we do not know

To light the night

To help us grow

To help us grow

It is not said, but I always know

You can catch me

Don’t you run, don’t you run

If you live another day in this happy little house

The fires here to stay

To light the night

To help us grow

To help us grow

It is not said, but I always know

.

.

.

The wonder of it all, the wonder that I made

I am here to stay

Little House, Amanda Seyfried

p.s. am dying to watch The Vow

Funny How Things Happen

and I am grateful. teehee.

the cutest thing <3

Life is fair. Whatever we gained, somewhere along the way, we will definitely lose something. Could be something small that of no significant value or something important that will eventually affect your life.

I wrote this with such clear mind. rational much? Perhaps it is because I am happy today. I am so busy to the extend that I couldn’t find a less cliche word for busy. I finally managed to NOT catch the sunset on a weekday from the window of my laboratory. Usually I would be standing at my work desk watching the sun disappear and darkness falls.

The day is arriving, for I need to put my pride and stubbornness aside. I’ve gotta face it like an adult. Face it with courage.

The situation may not be that bad. but please allow me to pour my heart out. at least for once I get to say what I want to say here.

To Lady,
I might not be able to be by your side if you choose/have to “leave” this year. I know you will understand the predicament I am in. You have always been so strong. For that, we admire you so much. *insidejokeinmyfamily* HAHA.

This post is specially dedicated to you.

I will always cherish the memories of growing up with you.

I will always remember how I get so annoyed with your never- ending barking, especially during the monsoon season.

I will always remember you staying by my side every morning, before sunrise, before I catch my ride to school.

I will always remember how you protected our family from those thieves.

I will always remember the way you bark at those postmen, newspaper- delivery guy and the flyer distributor guy.

I will always remember the puppies you gave birth to. the ones you lost. and also those who survived.
annoying as Junior can be, he is still adorable in his very own way. I just can’t get rid of the love/hate feelings I have for him. LOL.

I will always remember how much you enjoyed running around the neighbourhood with me. how much you anticipated those lovely evenings. how excited you get the moment I took my running shoes out of the shoe cupboard. how disappointed you were when I couldn’t take you along later on.

in so many ways and a whole load of things to remember of you. these words would not be sufficient to describe how important you are to me. no words can replace how much I am going to miss you. But…

here comes goodbye

I am going to say it before I leave again. For that I will look forward to tomorrow. Seeing you once again.

I love you. and I will miss you dearly. because you are family.

always. forever.

i begin to fear of phone calls from my family
especially during odd hours
most likely it would be something i am not ready to face
i am running out of time
this is the first time i am praying hard for the strength to get me through it
i will be alright
am i?

all of a sudden i miss her.. haha... although she loves to bully me >_<

she is so gonna kill me if she sees this pic.. haha...

XD