Updates!updates!!

It's Sooks birthday tomorrow!!!

Better wish her now in case i'm not coming online tomorrow.hehe.=P

SOok YeE, HappY 19TH bIRtHDay!!!
Welcome on board!*finally!!

somehow, we missed Tzing's bday celebration on the 23 rd. too bad cuz we were still IN the BUS. luckily, sooks and the rest gave her a surprise party. and thanks to the greatest, most brilliant creation of all time, which is handphone, we called her up and wished her. now, updates on Langkawi! 3 simple words and a punctuation mark. "I had fun!". Those were the days when i signed up for KPA's fieldtrips as an organiser. this time, i went as a participant. it's kinda weird for me to say this, i missed organising trips. the moment of truth. watching "carebear" doing what once was my responsibility, i ACTUALLy missed being KPA's president. *sighing* i used to hate being caught up in chaos, which happens most of the time throughout every trips. now, look at me! me!missing it! i gotta be kidding! hehheh.

oh, the most fun part was catching *someone* holding *someone*'s hands!hah

then there's Phang and her husband. and the "BUNCH", which consists of noisy malani and her Brady Bunch family members.

can you believe she actually brought her whole pack along???!!!

Pn Sal brought her jewels along too.. when she's around, there's only one thing in our mind. gossips. rofl. isn't it, bin?? *chuckles*

and guess what. i saw shooting stars! too bad i was not in time to make a wish... sad case.....=(
we managed to watch the sun rise. then again our sight was blocked by gigantic rocks and trees.
=(

sun rising....

looked like it was about to set to me...hehe

lisa and i

in the cable car, on our way up to Mt. Mat Cincang (doubt as Langkawi's 2nd highest peak)

the peak stations which gives us 360degrees of panoramic view from it's platform

suspension bridge

yes, indeed!

we were kinda busy shopping for chocolates and alcoholsXD in Kuah, so couldn't capture the sunset in Pantai Cenang. I got this picture from the net as a replacement.. hehheh

Pantai Cenang(also from the net)

hey environmentalists, listen up!

(Surprisingly)"controlled and unobtrusive access to Gunung Machinchang" is the objective of this geo-eco tourism project, to enable visitors to partake in the glories of nature; those of: geology, fauna, flora, spectacular sunsets and other weather formations, without damaging the natural equilibrium. Hence, careful planning went into all facets of the project, from cable car selection (electrically powered system, powered from the bottom station), route alignment (fewest towers possible), to architecture (unobtrusive, light and organic; mountain stations are powered by solar/diesel hybrid energy), construction (using a working cable and helicopter to carry all the building material up to the mountain, only felling trees absolutely necessary) as well as to the choice of walkways (natural timber boardwalks that are elevated so as not to incise in the ground)!

Hmm... how fascinating!



I hope in years to come, Langkawi won't end up following Pulau Perhentian and Tioman and Pangkor's footsteps....

p.s. i didn't know Koko Crunch was ciplak-ed until i ate it's ciplak-ed version in Nadias Inn (where we stayed)

~So close~
You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing this one's not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far, we are, so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing this one's not pretend
Let's go on, on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

::Jon McLaughlin::

the Call

they finally called! finally!!!
yeepie!!!!

in about 3 hours, i'll be back to ACS... not back to school of course... no no no....
going langkaweeeeeeeeeeeee.....hehe

wonder who else is going... hmmm
anyways, i'm going to njoy this one to the max..!

this time i don't have to do that silly head-counting, prepare paperwork, worry this worry that.... no more... !
now, it's my turn to sit back, relax and enjoy this trip with my buddies!!!

was hoping mims, mami-muth, tzing and sooks could join us... too bad... hmmm....=(
anyway, mims is going to back from Perth soon.... she should be on the plane at the moment... hehe


till then... =)

am still waiting...

it has been two days.and i'm still WAITING!!!!



oh bin, i'm switching to this blog. yeah, permanently=).. xanga is just too ssloooowww . by the time that stupid webpage started uploading, i'd already finish updating this blog..real bummer...! ::rolled eyes::

Everybody, "Bienvenue sur mon blog!"





p.s. i'd really appreciate not to be linked. thanks!!=p

before and after. pre and post.

Before.
- study
- stress
- school

After.
- work
- freedom
- life

That's what i thought my life would be after STPM. after being hovered by the big "S"-es. I thought out of my wishlist, at least, at least let one of my wish be granted.
but, unfortunately i'm not that fortunate at all...
just so you know, i'm not employed at the moment. i'm rotting. i'm sick(thanks to my sister). and i'm broke!


for the record, life after STPM aint that fun after all!

Questions

Q
How was STPM??
A
ummm....o-kay-lah...::smiles::

Q
So, got boyfriend??Dating alr??
A
No..::rolled eye when no ones looking::

Q
WHy??after exam d mah...
A
hehheh... dunno??...no right guy kua.. ::smiles::

Q
hah...i don't believe... got people tackle ah???sure got one..
A
huh...no la...where got..::smiling again:: (haihs... change topic la)

Q
really???...hmm...(in disbelief tone)
A
yes, really... believe me...

that's most of the questions i get for the past few days... people of all ages suddenly became so interested in my love life... ::scratching head::
haihz... awkward...
somehow i'm bored answering it... people, i have more to life than just boyfriends...

i got into an ugly argument with my sister today.. again..
everytime i will try not to engage any argument with her... i simply keep my mouth shut and pretend to hear nothing from her.. this way, i could stop my mouth form spilling any mean words out..
but today, i could compromise no more..
no more keeping mum..
i yelled profusely at her. and i'm very proud of it.. i couldn't sit there and do nothing. since i was suppose to drop her at work, i didn't ..i left it to my mum.. i intend to drive her there myself but after listening to her crap, i got so irritated.. i watched tv instead...btw she's actually kinda late to work.. plus the argument she started.. she's so so late... haha.. karma!


i know i'm not good at making people understand me bcuz i always walk away whenever i'm not comfortable of what ppl say or i'll sighed and frowned..
it's unlikely for me to explain and justify myself to others simply because i find it useless and it's not my main priority to do so.. people will still think the way they wanted ... we are humans!

how could she insult me and say untrue stuffs about me without proper research infront of my mum with no reason... i'm the one who should yell at her after wednesday's incident but i didn't... i kept my composure for the sake of not wanting to spoil the night.. but i couldn't take it anymore..
can you believe i'm stucked in a car with HER for an hour and have to listen to HER raising HER annoying voice at HER boyfriend?????!!!!!!

i HATE IT!!!!
gosh! I swear i would never ever ever have dinner with her and her boyfriend ever ever ever again in my life...with condition my dad's not joining us...and not just dinner only, vacation, yumcha,and everything that we can do together, i would certainly avoid...

you see, my sister is so so afraid of my dad...hence, she wouldnt dare to throw her tantrums infront of him..

that wednesday, my dad ffk us suddenly.. i should have seen this coming... haihzz..
so one lesson learnt... NO DADDY NO DINNER!period.

my relationship with my sister weren't good long long time ago...though i'm not really proud of it..

we have lots of misunderstandings... but i never intended to stop it becuz it's useless... her mouth is way too powerful than anyone can expect...even if i did explain.. total useless.. no use beating a dead horse.


ps it was not her bf's fault.. i never blame him. instead, i pity him. really.

i survived tru hell!!! 1st stage in hell....

i made it tru the first week in hell!!!
praises please people!!
come on, it's really tough you know.... you wouldn't wanna know what i have gotta go tru..
STRESSS.... my stress receptors are really stimulated to the max ... no kiddin'
anyways, there is no use complainin... gotta live tru it..
tho i don't seem to walk the talk...
people used to think i'm strong, independant, confident , prepared... and so on... but i'm not ...
for this exam...nope i'm not ready..
truthfully, i'm 80% much more prepared when i sat for SPM than now...
i know i'm gonna let my parents down.. and my aunts who put such high hopes on me since...since... haihz don't bother mentioning...
i could see from my dad's reaction when i said i did badly in my maths and chemistry papers..
people would never see or think that i'm the one who's really upset.. this is me.. the black sheep...
i guess i turned to be one since i learnt how to sing baa baa black sheep..

i was really upset... i tot i'd go home and cry till my head hurts. but i didn't ... i managed to get tru tho a part of me regretted dearly for making such an unacceptable mistake...which is i gave up... i gave up even before time is up... i gave up...i just gave up..

i don't know why i did that... my inner voice were just not as strong as my thoughts... my devillish thoughts...

i feel so embarresed...

adding salt to injury, yong shien and his predictions... saying that i'll score well... BULLSHIT!
i don't understand why people think i'm gonna get straight As???
i don't get that part..
people, wait till March... then you'd know how wrong you are... cuz i really screwed up my last chance...
i'm not proud of it...
but if i kept thinking bout it i'll go crazy...
i need to let that go and work on the other subjects...

oh gosh, long post... haiz.. you can give up reading if you want. it's not like i know you're reading my blog..

seriously, if i could turn back the time, i'd realy really want a chance to fix this problem... i wanna go back in time to make things right...

i really wish i could do that...... till then i'm just a messed up student trying so hard to get people to understand wat i'm going tru...

p.s i really hate people who doesn't know me jugde me based on what they wanna believe in.

countdown to freedom

STPM is getting nearer... i can even smell it..
i can smell freedom too... which is the only thing i'm looking forward rite now..
last time it used to be months away... now... less than a week!
fu yoh... time passed so quickly...

i don't know why... but the mood to study just disappeared... shouldn't i be studying real hard especially at this time...???
i just became so reluctant to touch any books nowadays..
yet i'm afraid to screw up my cert..my life...
haihzz... i dunno what i want...
bin wrote a very sentimental blog.. i was kinda moved by it... it reminded me of the days, happy and sad days we had gone through together...~emo~
anyways... i hope we(all the fellow bio gang) could still meet after this... =)

healthkicker...no no no....

i admit i'm very health conscious.. what to be ashamed of???? but i'm not that type who counts her calories intakes per meal each day, everyday!
no no no (in the berubinlah kinda slang...ask her if you wanna know..hehe)
i don't COUNT my calory intake.. i eat what i assumed it to be healthy..
i crave on desserts and spicy food... so why people keep insisting i'm a health freak... and only eats apples... i can't nourish my body with just apples okayy?? that's not even a healthy eating habit...
anorexic counts her calories... and i'm not in that circle.. not even near/ close to that
i'm not an anorexic!!!!
hear that???!!! got it???
so please please please don't "tease" me with apples..... pleassssssseeeeee
i thought going to ram's place would be fun since i begged so hard to get out...
and then just as i expected... yong shien and most of them started with that esther and apple thing.... haihzzz....
what can i do??? have to live with it...

anyways, yesterday was kinda fun... ram's a good chef... any single indian gals out there???hehe
he's a good guy... really.....XD

it's gettting late... chao~

human trafficking

i recommend you guys to watch this movie "human trafficking" on hallmark channel.. if you don't have astro it's okay...i guess you can find ways to get that movie online...
i hope when you watch it you'd spread bout this movie..
to me, this movie is fantastic and real...
i cant find any reason to hate this movie or to criticise it. how the casts potray these characters didn't bothers me at all... what really bothers me is the truth..
we live in a world of denial and ignorance.. yes you can deny this fact ...let me ask you this.. what is human trafficking???
if i tell you there's over 800000 people, boys and girls of all ages being smuggled across international borders every year..do you believe???
people say seeing is believing. i tell you what i saw..
few years back, i saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears, i witness a young innocent foreign lady being captured by police.
from her appearance and dressing, i knew fr the start she's a sex slave.. sex slave may have sound rude and improper..but why ppl say no to this word "sex slave" but not to "fuck"???
she was caught by my sister hiding under the drain just less than a metre from my house!
i swear this is true. she even asked my sis not to say anything. but it's just too late.. by the time we found her, her "owner" was here. her ran to my neighbour two doors away to hide because at that time the house was unoccupied and construction was on. so she tried seeking help from those foreign labours.. but they couldn't help her too..
i watched her being brought away by her "owner" and few police escorts.
at that time my sis immediately called out my mom. and we told her what had happened.. i really wanna help her. though i'm still young but i know what they would force her to do..
that man i still saw him around my neighbourhood especially in kopitiams.. till the day i die i shall never forget his disgusting face... you must be thinking why i hate this person so much although he did nothing to me.. but whenever i start thinking bout his dirty occupation i'll start cursing him silently..
i asked my sis before whether she still remembers him..she cant but i can...
i never told anyone this story before but i can't stay quiet anymore.
why do humans torture each other??
why humans betray each other for money??
this syndicate cost millions millions of dollars ...but is it worth the price???
is it worth to forget humanity and human sense for money??
is it worth to torture and treat someone that way to please your sexual needs???
is it worth to lose respect and dignity for a piece of rectangular printed paper??
no matter it's a boy or a girl, rich or poor, young or old, pretty or ugly, cute or hunky, they deserve to be respected..... we are all human no matter what skin colour we wear...
respect that!
sex slavery will keep on going for decades as long as there's "buyer" there's "product". as long as there's ignorance human rights will be abused.....
think bout it..
if one day, people violated your rights what would you do???
just because some of these children are poor and uneducated, doesn't mean their rights can be taken awayfrom them...
you don't need to be an economist or a genius to figure this out right???
let those poor children live a normal life. think them as your children, your sons or daughters or sisters and brothers...
now, watch it and spread it..
please.

near adulthood??...i don't think so

my parents(especially my mom!) love saying this to me and my sisters..
" ...you know, when we were young, we never get the opportunity to further our studies...ha...not like you youngsters today, we have to sent u to higher institutions and must be your choice..."
OMG!!!!::rolled eyes::
tht's my reaction...every single time she start this conversation of which who's luckier than who...
yes, i admit we grew up in a more civilised and modern and comfortable surroundings... however, still there's unfortunate people in this era of globalisation...
on the other hand, i still feel very envious with the lifestyle young children live in...when i said young children it means toddlers and primary kids...highschool kids too...
fyi, i'm no longer in that category...just so you know!hah!
i'm officially 19...a young lady..

i'm currently a tutor of a 7 year old boy. i took this job reluctantly cuz i know i'm not a good tutor ...i'm kinda impatient especially towards kids...don't get me wrong..it's not like i dislike them...i love kids!
i love playing and babysitting them...btw, i babysit toddlers when i was young too...i'm experienced..hehheh ;-P
you see, i've been taken care by a nanny since i was a baby till i'm in secondary...after my mom retired, i no longer go there...but still i'm very very close to her family....they are like my second familiy...seriously, i'm closer to them than to my cousins and aunts and uncles...
so whenever my nanny is busy coooking, my sisters and i would take turn babysitting her grandsons...anyway, we do it because we adore them...
tutoring this kid really takes a lot of energy...trust me, if my hair turns grey probably it's because of this lil fellow...
i will "tor hui"(vomit blood...direct translation) every saturday because of him... he's really getting on my nerves... in the beginning he wasn't exactly this stubborn...but recently he's being more more rebellious..he is the best in not paying attention in class, telling lies, day-dreaming, etc....
i feel like quiting every single week...i feel so frustated and i'm a failure... i can't believe that i can't handle this kid when i'm practically good in handling my studies...

i'm just trying to let off my anger and frustration in a better way...i don't curse whenever i'm angry at something or someone...
"curse all you want...in the end you are the one who's going to face god.." says jane...
i love this phrase...so typical jane jane...
talking bout her...she left m'sia last wednesday...missing her already...::sobsob:: =(
have to wait another year to see her again....haihzzz

~confusing~amused~

i'm wondering whether or not to stop P.Am tuition...kinda lazy to attend class every friday....hehe=p....
in the other hand, i'm amused by magic...it doesn't exist...yes i know...apparently those "magicians" you call are playing games with our minds...that's y illusionist is more suitable to describe this profession...crap...dunno what i'm crapping here.....have a nice weekend everybody....
~listening to the prayer by celine dion and josh groban~

pictureless..

so far i realised my blogs are pictureless...good good...let's keep it that way...
i'm still thinking of whether or not to go to Rally...hmm...it is starting soon...6 pm i think..
i actually agreed to go and i've even replied Mami-muth's rsvp in facebook long time ago...i know i'm bad to ffk her...haaa...indilemma...
not that i don't wanna go...the thinking of driving to and fro + the jam +"harga" petrol "naik"(just wanna mengada-ada a bit)kinda make me change my mind...and i'm so lethargic today...woke up at 6am just to get in school on time for Explorace...
i predicted this race would end early...but not as early as 9.30am!...fyi, we started this race 8++am..i guess it took about 45 mins for nicole+junjun+tzing' team to finish it...
it was hilarious to see ppl's faces covered in flour..and the best part was the "Best Actor/Actress" task...they are suppose to guess and act out in any way possible when we read out the characteristics of an animal...++they have to impress binbin with their acting skills...hmmm...lol...
daniesh did something smart to put binbin incharge of this checkpoint....rofl...
lazy to elaborate further...after Explorace, we played badminton and basketball b4 going home...my ball went into the loop at the 1st attempt!haha....happyhappy=p
as i'm already so tired and exhausted, i had to drive home and got stuck in the heavy traffic for almost 30 mins...by the time i reached home, it was already pass 12 noon.have to sing "you and me" and "what hurts the most" in the car to keep me awake(the radio in my mom's car is not working)..thank god plans to meet up with jane was cancelled yesterday..or else, i have to ffk them...and i'm really really sorry lisa ...i kinda forgot to inform u the 1st place itself...don't be mad k??..sorry=(...lately i realised i have memory problems...so sorry...

it's a wacky,wacky-world of azams...

so many things to do arr...yet i can't control myself from blogging...once i switch on my comp i'll start checking emails from uncle chee...as soon as i finished replying his emails, my gatal fingers will 'accidentally' click the fav column on the left.then all the blog add will appear. and i'll run tru each and every blogs.... now i'm suppose to complete my work. creating a few articles for KPA and Librarian Board to be published in the yearbook....haihzz...so little time...
how i wish i was hitler chan....can njoy 36 hours a day...=p

btw, sooks and mr surinder really made my day today in school.=)
from now onwards, sooks is also known as "sot" yee...she named herself that...not me..LOL
she went nutso today in school..dunno what's the reason...she just went crazy...naming herself "sot" yee...fyi, "sot" in canto means psycho... zabi overheard our conversation and she tot sooks said "short" yee...ROFL... that made everyone go hyper...
i advise you to think twice b4 entering our class....we are totally crazy and abnormal considering our status as Form 6 students....
as you all know, F6 students are usually studious...just like u6cergas...but not us...we are way pass that category...famous for our kaki ponteng antics...LOL...azams gonna kill me!=p

mr surinder on the other hand...hah...don't have to elaborate much...he's funny as usual...bullied by us..we always "mogok" and reluctant to do the work he gave...and he's smart too...learnt a few antics of ours after teaching us for so long....LOL....
one thing i'll nvr forget bout him and will always remind me of him is his sweaty, exhausted look as he walks into our classroom...*winks*

just shoot me!

it's friday !!!!in less than four hours, it'll be saturday again...i seriously feel days come and gone in just a blink...
tomorrow will be the last recycling campaign organised by 2007 commitees.....i'm retiring soon as KPA's president....almost a year now i've been a president...hmm...so many things i learnt and experienced...it was certainly fun, tiring and sad at the same time...got all my feelings mixed up again!=s...nxt monday will be our Library Month..weird..ya i know...as far as i'm concern every school's celebrating it too...my ex-school celebrated it also...then we have Explorace on nxt saturday too...hectic...hectic...=(...then KPA's AGM at the end of this month...guess who's gonna be my next successor??haha..."successor" sounds so royalty...hehe....=p

this week certainly got my temperature rising...pathetic 'ce-ce-li-aa' was darn irritating and idiotic....gosh, feel like choking her rite now...pretentious betul this pathetic fella...
so sorry...i know i'm rude...but i'm not gonna respect her...no way!
pathethic thick-skin fat-ass lady doesn't deserve my respect....after all she did and done, hell no!
come on...i hate ppl putting words into someone's mouth...i'd rather die a thousand times to ever work with her again.....i shall wish the new commitees good luck and good bye...can't wait to retire...
i can't stand putting on a mask when communicating with her bcuz deep down inside...I HATE HER!
and she knows that...pathetic...

i'm so so BLESSED!!!!

i feel so so blessed that i'm in Malaysia. i feel so blessed that i'm free to dream, to play, to travel, to eat , to live ,to love ,to hate ,to laugh , to smile, to shop, to speak, to learn, to be a girl, to cook, to dance, to sleep, to work, ....and most important of all, to have a future waiting for me to discover.... I'm so blessed!!!

i was watching Nat Geo's Top 30 minutes ago. nat geo's viewers get to pick 30 of their fav documentary shown on tv in an online poll. the best part is 30 local asian tv stars and celebrities were apart of this show too...you'll get to see them countdown ur favorites and give their reviews on them too...it was shown every weeknights at 11pm starting June. however i missed this show because of Hitler Chan...okay not his fault ...i'm just making up stories...=P
No. 4 fav documentary was an eye opener and it really caught my attention....
this documentary showed the world how distant, isolated, inaccesseble North Korean is from the world...goodness gracious.
all the things i know bout this country is that it was a communist country...and i guess that's all.. oh ya...country with an unlimited access of plutonium...nuclear weapons...
all these bull shit info i have in my brain is so so little...
Nat Geo's team of reporters including Lisa Ling and a bunch of doctors from Nepal(they are the true heroes..) got access to this country..and they've filmed the entire journey from nepal to pyongyang(n.korea) ...actually their main motive was to provide medical needs to the blinds in that country.
according to them, almost 10% of their population died of starvation in the past years....and hundreds of north koreans are blind due to cataract...this includes children as young as babies!
to us, cataract is a condition normally u find amongst old folks....and not babies...
they performed more than 1000 surgeries during their 10 days stay...Bravo!Bravo!...i salute them...
what caught my attention was the people...they are terribly....okay...i don't wanna jugde them...they are practically brainwashed by the ideology called 'juche'...(google juche or n.korea for more info...)
i don't blame them for their ignorance...as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss! Hell no ...i feel terribly sicked to find ZERO cars (other than Nat Geo's van) on the roads...there's no car in the highways!!!
in Malaysia, you won't find a single road without vehicles!it's impossible!!!it's always jam-packed during rush hours...
they have no internet. no cell-phone. no P.S I Love You or Pride and Prejudice to read...only books written by Kim Il Sung, founder of North Korea....
they use glass bottles for I.V drips...glass bottles you know??...
they don't have laser tech...no knowledge on how to use medical equipments.....no actual certified doctors...
and they worships "Great Leader" ....they bow at his potrait!...interesting....hmm...
and they hate americans...Lisa Ling was the one and only american there...interesting...
there are many statues and potraits of the "Great Leader"....every where...and ur not allow to take pictures...
if ur suspected being disloyal to this regiment, u'll be put in prison....so does ur family...
there's this soldier who managed to escape to China and his family members were executed. according to him,a bunch of children were shot bcuz they caught a mice for dinner...u can hardly fill ur stomach in prison...
i believe in freedom...u certainly can't find it there....every move every action every words, u are under watchful eyes...
i'm blessed.i'm so blessed.i'm so so blessed...

it's not your car...so don't be JEALOUS....and stop pretending to be the superior!!!

it's not your car so please don't pretend to be the superior...and stop finding reasons to deny this fact....no one will blame you...only you who love to find excuses to blame others....pumping petrol with cash or credit card, with or without bonuslink card is non of your business...though it was given to you by permission doesn't mean ur the superior...
SO STOP PRETENDING TO BE LIKE ONE....PLEASE DO THAT TO KELVIN AND NOT AT HOME!!!!!and STOP BE SO JEALOUSY IT"S VERY IDIOTIC AND U LOOK STUPID DOING SO!!!!REMEMBER THAT!!!KEEP THAT IN MIND....DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD AT UR STUPIDITY AGAIN...PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ahh...cair....

how i wish i was that girl...mmm....*melts*=P

::horoscopes::

do you believe in horoscopes???
i don't!! yet i read it everyday...hah...dunno why...i guess it's mere curiousity kua.....??
anyway, today's paper said ...k...i quote it is better...
"Pretty good stars for love and affection." my reaction=huh::rolling eyes::
and " there seems to be some intensity here...." LOL
not that i wanna believe..but...sy gave me a souvenir after duty..my reaction??...i just said thanks..with an awkward feeling..
i guess it's about time to give some explanation...
arhhhh....guilty,guilty, guilty...i'm so gonna rot in hell...and b4 it happened, i'll be hurt by tons of guys....=S...

so near yet so far

have you ever experienced this situation??..
i'm in the same building with someone yet it feels like we are so far apart.....strange isn't it??hehe

i always deny the fact that time and age does set ppl apart. but i no longer feel so...
izit because we have changed tru time??
even when i'm stayin so near to her workplace, yet i find it hard to meet...however i find that after being apart for almost two years now, our relationship grew stronger and we are more likely to cherish the time we spent together...but i still love the silent moments we share...=)..

muhibah

i hated this word very much...i hate it when teachers used it in school....i hate ppl pretending to instil 'muhibah' spirit in the hearts of students...apparently, tho we don't hate ppl of other race but we don't exactly like them...i'm not a racist..but in certain situation, it kinda turned me into a racist..for example, i have the suckiest librarian teacher (need not be named)...
ppl can deny as much as they want but there is still racism in each and everyone of us...

fyi, i went to this charity carnival in sekolah khas this morning. it was good!the food was delicious...of course....mommy's and social workers cook wan wat!
mary ruth baked her famous brownies too...didn't missed out 'ta-pau'ing that...=P
it was nice to see ppl get together in the name of charity....tho some do it for fame and pride, there are others who are really sincered to do something for the unfortunate ones...

i didn't actually liked the idea of donating huge sum of money to NGOs...esp when it involves mock cheque, photographers and reporters...
money will ended up in places which were not suppose to be...(pockets esp)...

so nx time, donate things other than money...

JuSt SO you KnoW

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

random 2

my computer is back from the 'hospital'!!!yay=p...and here i am bloging..again.. told ya i'm kinda addicted to the comp nowadays. not just addicted. i'm so attached to it..


btw, sooks and bin they all are going to kay-land-tan tonight...hope they will have a fun trip...i bet they will.. anyway, pray with me that they'll have a save trip too...*fingers crossed*


leaving me and mims in school tomo all by ourself...*sobsob*..=(





anyway, i've uploaded pics from mims camera..show you huh...:-)

we took this on our way to kuala jasin.. we saw some elephant droppings by the shore too...hehe

Help!!!i'm being attacked!

i've been directly attacked!!...by a stupid cbox comment on my club's blog....
i knew that i'll be hated by ppl once i accept the president post in KPA... seriously who on earth have never ever criticise a president. All of us do!
hahaha....pls don't deny...we all criticise Bush for killing innocent ppl...don't you???
anyway, leave political issue aside. story cut short. i was attacked by a stupid boy named 'nt'.. have no idea who is that....
he insulted my leadership and claimed that he'll bring KPA to the next level! trash talking from the start till the end on how brillliant he is if he's a president...
i'll wait and see...
being a president is not a game...you won't lose definitely....but you will fall...
every eyes is on you...every decision you make are under watchful eyes...and sometimes evil ppl want you to fail so badly they play hipocrisy...
what i'm trying to say is a president musn't always be right but he/she must always stand by his/her decision every single time....i know i'm not always rite...but i tried my best... what more u want??!!!....i'll give anyone this post if he/she is eligible ....
i don't care who or what he wants...but he'll never get what he wishes....that's one thing for sure.
ahhh....it's like a joke you know. ppl like him loves trash-talking yet wanna remain anonymous.. if he's such a dare-devil..he'll let the whole world know by using his real name and NOT INITIALs...
fyi, you can't fit your humongous ego in such a SMALL head!
this is not a masquerade party....so leave your mask at home!!!!!!!!

random

gosh...i don't know what's happening to me. i'm facing my computer everyday since holidays had started....
i just got this habit of switching on the computer every single time i'm in the room.. i need to stop this!...i was never a computer addict and now, i'm transforming into one...
i was reading blogs of some senoirs for my school. and damn they can write so well. i mean their blogs are way better and more interesting than mine...not that i envy them..they write everything in such detail. i can never do that.
at first this blog was meant for my personal use. haihz..but in the end, people discovered it and started viewing ...thanks to me. i still can't forget my stupidity. i'm really a blogspot illliterate until now...
please don't get offended. it's not that i don't like you viewing. i kinda wanna write more personal stuffs here than in xanga.
thoughts of privatising this blog...crushed....=P
anyway, sex and the city is gonna be in cinemas soon!...guess when...
24 July!!!!! my bday!!!!

no mood for '4letterword'...

being in the jungle for 3 days can actually keep me from facing the reality. i love that! running away from my problems.
however, i'm back in dilemma when mims did that tarot reading.... i feel eager to try out after watchin ppl doin it. but it wasn't that true...(i meant by the predictions)
i can't stop thinking whether to or not to accept him... and my emotions are running pretty low at that moment due to exhaustion...
i didn't want my history to repeat again. disappointing someone else is the last thing i wanna do..
the things he did or say have no effect on me....i don't feel blushed nor happy....not like last time. i know i shouldn't compare...i'm not comparing...i just want that kind of feeling back... but it just won't happen...
why can't someone i like fall for me??....haihzz....anyway, i'm not in the mood for love now.... maybe later.

p.s. why can't i write emo stuff in my blog??....again i said...it's my blog!...back off ppl...don't read if you think it's too emo....plss...

David vs David

American Idol season 7 was fantastic as i predicted. haha....
the performance was fab and all the 11 finalists were amazing(i think...??)..you??.....
i know there should be 12 of them but the one and only slacker/dreadlocker doesn't deserve this compliments.
he didn't change his attitude after all. still the same. giving us dull and boring performance every single time. thank god americans weren't that blind. tho , they are blind to eliminate michael johns and put him through.
anyway, i'm super duper happy that 'big' David won this fight. he truly deserve it.



palapapapa...i'm....lovin it! =P
however i missed archuletta and one republic's performance on apologies....*sobsob*
wonder when is the repeat......

yesteryears

i was chatting with my best pal from high school minutes ago. she's the only person who i can talk to after a stressful day.now, i find it difficult to talk to others in school. maybe i rely too much on her when we were in school. the problems i face in school made me think of her even more. we used to chat and joke with each other everytime. and during exams, we are the most relaxed ppl in the entire class...hehe=)....you can see other ppl bz revising unlike both of us.we' d serenade our friends with our fav song to help them release their stress...missed those moments...that was then....now, i barely sing or lol in class like no one's business. i'm no longer that bubbly gal i used to be.

i always think i'll burden others if i tell them my problems. even if i told them, it will not help solve my problems....the only thing i can do is learn to accept problems and solve them myself. be independent.
i went into form 6 in hopes to achieve my dreams without having mommy and daddy forking out a huge sum for my tertiary edu. it may sound cheesy...but it's true...
in reality, rich kids get the opportunity to further their studies in college and overseas. but i'm was not raised with a silver spoon in my mouth. my parents are neither rich nor poor nor highly educated. they can't afford to spend thousands of dollars. and it will be so selfish of me to ask them to spend all of their savings for me cuz they are not young...they need money for their retirement....
i'm neither a straight-A student...nor a always-fail student. i'm an average student..not the brainy type.
but i worked as hard as others...i'm just not good enuf to get scholarships cuz....they only want straight As student. i believe if your mommy and daddy can afford to send you to private college...why want scholarship somemore. our society thinks that if you are sponsored you are smart...and can jaga maruah mommy and daddy too especially parents who love to compare and tunjuk tunjuk infront of others. there's no such parents who doesn't like to have an all-rounder to be their kid.
i accept my fate. furthermore i'm not giving up cuz i know this is a part of the obstacles i must face in life...what i experienced has changed the way i see the world completely. i learnt that nothing is free. i have to work for it.
nothing in this world can stop me from achieving my dreams. fingers crossed.....

S.E.E.D

someone commented on my blog and asked me the meaning of S.E.E.D.
it is actually seed. i wanted it to be special so i placed dots in between them....haha....
i know it's kinda weird but it is what it is...
a friend of my gave me a growing plant for my birthday last year. it contained 4 chinese character carved on the leaf. the characters was actually somewhere in the seed and when it grew then only you can see it. it was a very special gift although i know i can get it in any market.

i was once a 'seed' growing in my mom's womb. the genes i inherit from both of my parents made me what i am today. now, i'm a young women eager to explore the world and still growing(although not physically but mentally)....=)

welcome, welcome!!

welcome my dear friends!!!
this is my 1st blog post and i'm actually learning how to use blogspot...kinda complicated....
if you are wondering, yes, i'm still keeping my blog at xanga...so do check out that blog if you have the time!
hmmm....what else to say a....
adios...
p.s look out for my next post...=)