i made it tru the first week in hell!!!
praises please people!!
come on, it's really tough you know.... you wouldn't wanna know what i have gotta go tru..
STRESSS.... my stress receptors are really stimulated to the max ... no kiddin'
anyways, there is no use complainin... gotta live tru it..
tho i don't seem to walk the talk...
people used to think i'm strong, independant, confident , prepared... and so on... but i'm not ...
for this exam...nope i'm not ready..
truthfully, i'm 80% much more prepared when i sat for SPM than now...
i know i'm gonna let my parents down.. and my aunts who put such high hopes on me since...since... haihz don't bother mentioning...
i could see from my dad's reaction when i said i did badly in my maths and chemistry papers..
people would never see or think that i'm the one who's really upset.. this is me.. the black sheep...
i guess i turned to be one since i learnt how to sing baa baa black sheep..
i was really upset... i tot i'd go home and cry till my head hurts. but i didn't ... i managed to get tru tho a part of me regretted dearly for making such an unacceptable mistake...which is i gave up... i gave up even before time is up... i gave up...i just gave up..
i don't know why i did that... my inner voice were just not as strong as my thoughts... my devillish thoughts...
i feel so embarresed...
adding salt to injury, yong shien and his predictions... saying that i'll score well... BULLSHIT!
i don't understand why people think i'm gonna get straight As???
i don't get that part..
people, wait till March... then you'd know how wrong you are... cuz i really screwed up my last chance...
i'm not proud of it...
but if i kept thinking bout it i'll go crazy...
i need to let that go and work on the other subjects...
oh gosh, long post... haiz.. you can give up reading if you want. it's not like i know you're reading my blog..
seriously, if i could turn back the time, i'd realy really want a chance to fix this problem... i wanna go back in time to make things right...
i really wish i could do that...... till then i'm just a messed up student trying so hard to get people to understand wat i'm going tru...
p.s i really hate people who doesn't know me jugde me based on what they wanna believe in.
2 comments:
I thought that you were prepared too. I mean judging by your attitude (you looked steady) I expect that you would be prepared, maybe not fully. But prepared enough to sit for the papers.
i hope i was prepared enuf... but i'm not..i regretted for not working harder... haihz... what can i do now??
i just hope the graph drops this year ...
i know it's very bad to think like that but ...that's my only hope... haihz.. karma karma...
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