you are in your soapbox. i can too.

can you people please PLEASE stop telling me who I should be may it be in the present or in the future, how should i behave, what should i wear, how should i spend my money, where i can or can not go, and most importantly how should i look.
i've already chosen this path. let me be. let me take this path, with or without risk, cos i'm willing accept all the consequences of my actions. didn't i proved you so? whatever you're saying now can't change the fact that i'm already here. i like what i'm studying now. i did not regret making this choice. it's just music makes me feel more alive than ever. yes, i'm drifting away, i'll admit it. let me do what i want to do. i have no intentions of confusing you. maybe you know better, but still i am going to be the one living with the choices i've made. you are afraid. honestly, i am afraid of my future more than you do.

it's just an advice.
it's for your own good.
it will never do any harm to you if you just listen.
you don't have to get too upset and too sensitive about it.
yes, Yes, YEs, YES... i've heard all of these more than a million times.

just stop. can you? can you PLEASE just stop?!!! stop. for once, try to look things from my perspective.
for your information, i like the way i look. i like the way i am. i am happy and contented with what i have.can't you just see that? i am blessed to have everything i've ever wanted, although there are times i tend to be greedy and desires the finest things in life. having said that, i am not dumb. i am perfectly capable at differentiating fact from fiction. if i may mention this again, my moral compass doesn't always point north, i know what's right and wrong. i know. i know what i am doing. thank you for being so concern but i know what i am doing. i just want to be happy. that's all. it's all i wished for.
i am me. can't you see that? i am a plain-Jane. i am uninteresting. i am boring. in fact, i chose to be a plain- Jane. i chose to be invisible. i want to be invisible because of you. i thought it would shut you up by doing so. but i failed. that means my 17th birthday wish did not came true after all. yes, i wished to be invisible. this proves how silly i am/was. see, i have made this choice and i am still here, happy and contented with my life. it's up to you to accept the way i am.

so, can you please stop telling me who i should be, how should i behave, what should i wear, what i should do with my life and most importantly how should i look?? cos i really really really love the way i look, as the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. but then again, it's all up to you how you want to judge me.
just remember, you and i, we all have our own soapbox. in mine, i have a mirror. so i am perfectly aware of my surroundings and of course me, myself and i. i thank you for your suggestions, advice, opinion, and guidance.

The Rose

Bette Midler

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

in my soapbox, just like everybody else.

i cry when I'm mad and pissed at somebody
but i cry too, when I'm sad and disappointed at certain people i care and love

to me, crying is a mode of self-expression. but I'm not a cry baby. i don't cry all the time. only under certain circumstances.

i was hurt badly by some words uttered by her. not that badly but still bad. u may think that I'm just a lil overly sensitive. over- exaggerated the whole situation/ordeal. i have to say sorry because u have not stepped in my shoes. having said that, i do not blame u. and thank goodness you don't have to.
it wasn't because of her words that triggered me to be so emotional yesterday. it was the anger i have kept for years and slowly I'm starting to project it all out whenever history repeats itself. for so many years I've tolerated her, her attitude and kept it to myself. in my mind i thought i have let it go. but little did i know, my subconscious mind did not.

she could be older. and i assumed that she'd be much wiser than i am. sadly that's not the case.
she wasn't someone i would look up too because she's way too narcissistic. and i hated how she treats people around her like dirt. she claims to be true and honest for everything she says but that's not the case when comments made by her are simply rude and ignorant- as if she doesn't have a filter system in her brain before she blurts everything out. i mean, seriously how can someone be this proud? i know, a narcissist would. and no doubt she is one.

u may think i am rude, that i am acting like a spoilt child but the fact is in my family everybody's equal. except my parents of course. every one in the family is treated equally. again, except the dogs. they are royalty in the family. we get the same things. we share things since we were young. however i seriously don't know where the friggin hell did she got her mouth from!

is there any competition for bitches? if such competition exists, i am her biggest recommendation for this competition cos that's her greatest asset.

PAS is blaming Valentine's Day and New Year celebrations as among the main causes of baby dumping in the country  (LMAO)



READ THIS http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/8/19/nation/6881507&sec=nation

LMAO

Favourite quote of the day
".... Besides, I could be knocked down by a number 13 bus tomorrow, while crossing one of Penang's busiest, pedestrian unfriendly streets - on my way to buy dental floss......"  (Mary Schneider)

Julie/Julia- Inspired Project *editted*

so sorry my dear dear Mac 'n Cheese. how can I ever forget to mention you??? my bad. so sorry dear. I promise to cook you kays??

You'll be in my lunch menu. see, i gave so much thought on where  which day to cook you and weekdays are the best, look how important you are *winks*, cos you know Jun doesn't like you that much. don't get too upset yea. you are still Mummy, Jo and Paul's fav >,<

i need a blue sky holiday

for the past one week I've been busy editting the work of my groupmate. rephrase. I've been busy helping my groupmate to finish her partially completed work. to be frank it wasn't even 50% done before i took over. all i'm asking Prof Lim wants us to do is to write him a draft of our the topics we chose. He even gave us TWO freaking weeks to complete it. TWO WEEKS!
How hard can it be to extract important informations from a(n) website/article?
How hard can it be to translate an english text to malay?
not to mention there's GOOGLE TRANSLATE DUH?
and by the way, this is Malaysia. We speak BAHASA MELAYU. NOT BAHASA INDONESIA! for god sake! I don't know which part of the planet her brain has landed.
oh c'mon, what the hell is "KAISER" huh? and and .... "JEPANG" ?????
i actually googled both of these words and guess what... KAISER means raja in bahasa Indo and JEPANG is the old malay term for JAPAN! WTH!!!! @#$%^%*^&()!
she can't even manage to do a simple translation!!!! arghhhh.... kek sei ngor!!!!!
can you believe she'd actually sent me these texts to be emailed to Prof Lim??
my responsibility is to compile and email all of our work to Prof Lim and a lil editting as well, instead I did the whole thing(about 80%) by myself.
and guess what. today we met up with Prof Lim and he thought she did the whole thing by herself! ARGHHHHH....
even with the articles i've given her as reference, she did not put an effort to produce anything. did you know she emailed me the same article that has been copied and pasted directly from the source and translated poorly??? gosh this makes me even more mad at her!!!
i'm trying to help her but it seems like all my efforts were flushed down the toilet.
i so wanna strangle her as we both stood in Prof Lim's office.
having said that, as much as I wanted to tell Prof Lim that I have contributed 80% of that article, however, I did not do so.
although my moral compass doesn't always point to the north that doesn't make me a bitch. and that is why i didn't bitch about her in front of Prof Lim. that is why i did not tell him the truth. that is why all i can do here is rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant ... about it. T_T
i still feel like killing someone....... be afraid. be very afraid. I am crazy. especially now.

I'm sleepy

I'm so freaking exhausted

I hate the weather

I'm annoyed by the sight of people trying to ugly-fy themselves (without even realising it!) .. i mean..uh.. HELLO!!!???? make-ups are suppose to make you look pretty. not the other way round. got it??? sometimes not wearing make-up makes people look even more prettier than having them on.

I'm PMS-ing almost every two hours since yesterday (Pissed-at-my-groupMate-Syndrome)

and coffee no longer works on me ... booo = (

I'm a registered voter! YEssssssss......

*omg i finally could log in to blogger. my goodness, do you know how many times i've tried to log in for the past couple of days? stooopid usm hotspot. first, they blocked 33md. then, blogger. sigh. stooopid pool*

this idea had struck me two days ago after watching Julie and Julia(for the 2nd time). I was seeking for a challenge.
finally. a challenge. something to look forward to besides "that"
a proposal. a project. the Julie/Julia-Inspired Project. a challenge.

The Contender.
Zoe Lim. chemistry student by day(and night), food enthusiast by night(day as well) XD...has signed on for a deranged project.
she wants to challenge herself. but not the julie powell way.
during her semester break, this coming September, she'll challenge herself to cook as many dishes(eg. quiche, cakes, pasta, poultry) as possible. not neccessary it has to be a new recipe or a new dish. just as long as it's edible/tasty/pretty(zoe has problems making her food look pretty, but it's edible though)however, self-improvisation is a MUST.

ahhh... it'll be fun!!^^

so guys, look out for the Julie/Julia-Inspired Project this coming fall! XD



note-to-self: MUST remember to take pictures of every food I make!! MUST. MUST. MUST.

p.s. if, by any chance you wanna help with my project =P just leave the recipe(s) you have as comment. thanks <3

Guilty Pleasures

must say, yesterday was one of my craziest saturday in Penang XD
I was out for about 12 hours(again) XP
at about 1pm, we, auntieSueAnnTang and I took a bus to town(New World Park) to meet auntie's friend. the weather was oh so nice and cloudy but as soon as we reached the main bus terminal KOMTAR it started to rain. HEAVILY! and we had to seek shelter at the bus stop opposite New World Park cos neither one of us brought along umbrellas. even by having an umbrella it'd be useless cos we're still gonna be soaked. it was raining really really heavily. no joking weii.
being under the bus stop with the roof and all didn't even help cos we were still wet =(
i blame those taxi drivers. hmmmph. can you believe that they actually charge people RM10 as soon as you hop on to their taxis??? this happens in Penang. I don't if this occurs elsewhere in Malaysia. anyhow they are a bunch of "parias"! so KNS!
the distance from KOMTAR to NWP is approx 300M and they wanna charge us RM10! wth! seriously I don't think it'll cos them more than RM2 of gas (they use NGV not petrol!) for a distance of 300M!!
i blame them and i despise them for over-charging people and for not using the meters. and if they were to charge us at a reasonable price we would have reached NWP in a dry condition and I wouldn't have cursed them so badly. HAH! =P
after having lunch at NWP we headed back south for a movie in QB. actually our main purpose of going to QB was to get ice-cream! yum~ yesterday was the 31st. remember?? BaskinRobbin!! XD
yumyums... both of us, sharing a pint of BR's ice cream.. ahh... *salivating*

within 2 hours in QB i've already spent

almost 200 bucks on clothes and shoe..
 ahh... guilty guilty guilty

we didn't catch any movies tho =( hence the shopaholic mode was turned ON! XP

after shopping and icecreamindulging we went back to campus and crashed School of Art's interaction night. Haha. I didn't even attend my school's interaction day that was "coincidently" held on the same day XD haha.. *evil*

then Khaleel-ing till 1am!

haha...

that is why i was so so GLAD that I didn't take part in any activities/clubs cos if I do, I won't be having this post .. XP

having said that there's only one club I'm actually interested in. Kelab Rekreasi =) hee..