excessive usage of lol. now it has lost all its meaning lol

as i sat in the common hall alone, i realised being up in the middle of the night wasnt that bad after all.
i felt calmer.
it was quiet. peaceful. chilly. dark. and something about the air. something. it stopped me from crying my eyeballs out. so that ought to be a good thing aye?

i am sorry if i have been selfish (i know i am.). even more so (especially) when i am upset.

i do not know what else there is to say except that if i could just save one's ear from listening to my rants, i'd be happy to do so.

i know you lot would eventually read all my unhappy full-of-profanities rude selfish posts i posted here and it would be the same as hearing me rant. but the least i could do is to give you lot an option to not read 'em.

i took down "the" post. it wasn't an apologetic move. i know the moment i wrote that post i would eventually take it down the first thing in the morning when i wake up (because the context of that post did not explain everything i felt. it was written because i want to rant lol). so if i am going to do so in the morning when the sun rises, doing it now doesn't make any difference. would it?

on another note, i am happy to say i'd finally unwrapped the one book i brought 2 months ago! wanting to do so for months. but didn't have the time for it. gonna bring it along this weekend cos i'm foreseeing 5 hours of agonizingly painful bus ride to ....... SELANGOR! i'm going to catch RP! LIVE!

p.s. i wished i could blog while sitting in the hall but dang, my phone just simply hates USMSecure(wifi). and shit i'd look horrible tomorrow =( rofl


p.s.s. i want a musashi. but i already have mike (cos my sister is finding her way to dump him to me ROFL *whispers* i know of her evil plans *runs*)

note-to-self

don’t you worry
you will be fine
every thing will fall into place
stop worrying and stop being afraid to make the right choice
you will need to face it as soon as you leave USM
focus on thesis
3 more days!
get it done!
sleep it off and you will be fine tomorrow!
bright, sun shiny day awaits!

If you have the time...

Questions you should not ask

I’m freaking out. Yes, I am. Mr Panic just came knocking on my door. MY thesis (abstract submission to be exact) deadline is in two weeks! T_T I have nothing. NOTHING! on conclusion yet because I am not done with results and discussion! T_T x2

NO CONCLUSION MEANS NO ABSTRACT T_T xinfinity

Oh fyi my lecturer bled (of course not literally la!) on my first two chapters of my thesis HAHA!  after 3 drafts, 3 DRAFTS he was still bleeding. I really do hope it wasn’t real blood. I think I have terrible skills in scientific writing. GRLAAAAAH! ::I do not know what that expression meant. All I know is that I am so terribly messed up::

and then came the job thingy to mess my head further.

Can I just runaway?

Can I not make a decision now although I think I have made A DEEcision but I just don’t want to admit that I have made that Decision so I do not have to face the fact that in the end one party would be disappointed and I have to face that consequence anyhow because even if I do not want to disappoint anyone I would like not to disappoint myself but knowing that there is no such thing as a win-win situation in my situation I rest my case fullstop :: breathe::

I wanted to write on good things (what can i say, at least I am trying to add something positive into my blog of 100000000 depressing posts?!). Happy things. Happy moments I have had during the recent semester break. I did enjoyed that one week. Get to spend time with people (family and friends) back home. and I ATE A LOT! 2 DINNER "PARTIES” with my family! that’s a progresss! we finally managed to cramp 2 big dinners (with full attendance! ) in a week! *claps* HAHA but we all know the reason for that full attendance was because I brought a plus-one teehee

and of course I can’t afford to write more on my holidays cos Time’s up! Back to work now T_T

sigh