I'm so afraid that dream would come true. I hope that someone could tell me it's not. I wish it wouldn't. Please tell me it's not. Please don't let it come true.

need-no-naming post?

insomnia is probably nothing new to you guys.
but it is to me.
to me, a health freak, sleep is of the utmost importance. yes, i'm not ashamed to admit. i am a health freak. and a pusher for people to lead a healthy lifestyle and a pusher of many things. sorry, it's annoying and irritating and.. i don't know. Please fill in for me will ya?
lately waking up in the middle of the night, not once, many times is such a norm. so as tonight. um. midnight? it's 2 am. i think.
what i do when i can't sleep?
think
um
ponder on stuffs
kacau someone when he's home
kacau Blossom 'cos she snores all the time
think of what the future might be
think of times in penang
think of silly thing i did
think of silly things i cried upon
think of silly things i said and done
oh and read. thank god for my smartphone. am i still not smart enough for it. haha.
i can read surf browse all i want anytime (when i'm home or have free wifi access ::teehee::)
so, to sleep better
it seemed meditation works like magic! yet to try. will definitely try. soon. (need to find my meditation board!)
they say running works too. i run almost everyday. i still can't sleep!
hmm
spent whole night thinking again.
what can i say to make things right.
what can i say to not disappoint you or anyone.
what can i do?
i wish i could say everything i had in my heart and mind.
but words and me. we are not good buddies. either it come out wrong and end up a disaster. or nothing comes out.
either way heart still is heavy.
John Mayer say what you need to say?
p.s. i'm glad Lady found peace. no more sufferings.
i thought i should stop pushing around. i am wrong.

What can you do
When your good isn't good enough And all that you touch tumbles down 
Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow 
But how many times will it take
Oh how many times will it take
For me to get it right
So I throw up my fist throw a punch in the air 
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah I'll send out a wish
yeah I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care

                            glee, get it right

the actual goodbye of all goodbyes

the day she came into our lives

we were in Singapore the week Dad brought her home. I remember feeling so excited during the train ride home! we were all super excited! our neighbour, Ong(he loves dog- too bad his wife hated

em!), and Uncle Bert purposely (dad's childhood friend) came to visit haha!

 

we had several canaries, a few hamsters, a squirrel haha! but nothing beats her!

 

the best memory

my sisters and I carpooled, from home to school then to nanny's place, since kindergarten. So, we gotta wake up early and catch those rides before dawn. And Lady would always be awake to accompany us til our carpool Aunty arrive to pick us.

When I used to go school alone in the morning, I always talk to her cos she's like my buddy and sister.

 

sadly

because we were all still young, schooling and all. spending most of our time in nanny's place. Mom and Dad had to work. She spent her childhood alone at home. hmmm....

 

on the bright side

she had a boyfriend! haha Mr Brownie. and 10 kids! (too bad, 8 died. 2 survived) oh wait, and a niece(Blossom) and nephew(Mike)! haha!

 

and she lived till 16! Bravo, mama! I love calling her marmalade. heh. cos she looks a bit orangy =P

 

 

p.s. Goodbye my loyal sister/buddy. We love, love you so very much. Thank you for making my childhood a memorable one.