not my expertise

it's clearly me fault, me ended up like this.
guilty, for not being able to clear up this mess.
guilty, for not being honest with myself.
guilty, for trying to be nice.
guilty, for making it worse.
guilty, because i never learnt my lesson.

I could have..
been honest right from the start,
told the truth,
been honest with myself,
fight for what i want, what i desired,
said no in a polite way. (but i've said no a million times, and they just don't get it!)

"it" was just an acquaintance, for god sake. i knw i'm heartless- sue me!
i know everyone deserves a chance, but who's giving me one?- i, too, deserve a chance.